My Blog

Many times in life, many people had told me that I could not succeed in certain things yet I had done it all. You said it was tough because you simply do not have the ability to accomplish something. But do not think that I am like you. I am not you. I am greater than you think. The results always show.

Many times in life, people had asked me not to do certain things yet I did not give a fuck about what they said. I did it and I do not regret a single bit for what I did. It felt so good to get dirty. It felt so good to be bad. And it felt so good to do it while you abide by rules and be a good boy or girl. Do not be jealous, my friends, when I get to enjoy pleasure and leisure. When you do not want to do it because you think that it is wrong, please do not expect me not to do it also. I will do it. I will fuck around. I will fuck you. There is no right and wrong in this world. In the end of the day, I get pussies. You get your imagination and your sexy hand to help you fulfill your dreams.

Many times in life, people wanted to bring me down. Sometimes, they succeeded. But I rise again. Each time I rise, I am harder, better, faster and stronger. Should I say thank you for teaching me a lesson? No. Just be prepared for my retaliation which may come in any form at all.

Actually, I do not give a fuck anymore. And I do not believe in you anymore, anymore. Your evaluation of me is not only erroneous but is also intended to keep me from greater powers. Call me Lucifer. It is my new name. Lucifer King is my new name.

Girls from convent school are still better. Girls from co-ad school suck big time. Girls who mix with girls all the time are indulged in the feminine side so that they are gentle, tender and caring. They value guys more and make guys wanna. Girls from co-ad school do not really care about guys’ ego because they have been mingling with guys so long. Furthermore, they have turned guy-like because they treat guys as competitors. Such distasteful choice as a partner. I did not get any girlfriend from and during high school so people may say that because I could not taste the grapes so I say they are sour. This time, I got intimate with one of the girls from high school and it really tasted sour. Well, maybe the one I tasted was sour. Maybe there are some sweet ones. But I guess I do not want to. They once made me want them because my mind played tricks on me, making me think that they are all so great. But after what I have heard, after what I have seen, they are less than ordinary. Maybe it is their looks, maybe it is how they carry themselves, so that people are made to think that they are angels. But now it is no longer me who is choosing them. They are not in my league as they can always stay in their conservative fortress. I have seen the outside world and there is pasta in Italy etc. Char Kuih Teow is only one in the billion of delicious food.

Of course, some girls from convent school subscribe to the idea of essentialism, consciously or subconsciously. They act nice and caring in order to manipulate guys. That I have experienced too in one of my relationships. For friends close or not to me, I think you guys know who I am talking about. Those bitches are to be crucified but those guys who got fooled by them are to be cut off their dicks. Luckily, the one who said that their dicks should be cut off is me, not someone else before me. If not, my dick would be cut off too. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Are ‘bad’ people always going down in the end like how movies depict them to be? It always leaves a nasty taste in the mouth when evil defeats good in movies. At least that is the general opinion of general people. But sometimes, I want evil to win because evil is so cool. How can a normal T-100 beat the so sophisticated female robot? That does not make sense. So, evil must die huh? Evil is powerful. Evil is not raddish. Evil is calm and patient too. Evil is tidy too. Evil is the embodiment of malicious traits but they may be disciplined and hardworking too. You think Hitler was a lazy man? If evil possesses some ‘good’ traits too, they are not pure evil, are they? But who is pure evil and who is pure good? There is no such thing as who is good and who is bad then. I guess we can only say that certain people are more evil or more good. I have chosen to embrace both my good and evil nature. I am a demonic angel, dark angel, fallen angel or whatever you call it. I call myself Lucifer, the rebellious soul who does not conform to rules, structures and institutions such as God, school, the government and family. Lucifer has his own personal space called Hell. I create my hell. Everyone does.

Karl Marx is right. Capitalism is sucking our souls because everything now equals money. A relationship means money. A friendship means money. Survival is money. With money, everything goes. Without money, you are eking out or slowly dying off. Without a car or some money, how do you meet up with your friends and have a chat to forge relationships? Without money, how do you call your girlfriend to say: "I miss you"? Without money, how do I get a pc, pay Streamyx and come online here writing blogs? And if I do not pay for electricity, the equipments and services are helpless. Bomb all buildings like members of Project Mayhem in Fight Club did or work my ass off to be a millionaire at the age of 50 with an enormous belly? By then, what is charm to girls? Only my money.

My dream to be a celebrity has been shattered. So what if I sing like a bird? So what if I dance better than Michael Jackson? Not everybody gets lucky. Not everybody is talented. I am talented to realize the fact that impossible is nothing but also there is a long way to go because I am not the only one fighting for that same damn dream. Everyone wants to be rich. Everybody wants to be great. Although my communications course has opened my eyes to the shade of stupidity most people live in, it never has offered a solution to change one’s world. The most I could do is sticking to my principles while being flexible to have them changed anytime when they cease serving me. When I was young, I could not get things done because I did not have the repertoire to. Today, I can’t get certain things done because I am not resourceful enough.

But I will be patient. I was desperate for sex and I ended up fucking ugly girls. I was desperate for a relationship so my mind was clouded and I made mistakes in judgments. Average girls now come to me. I do not hunt them. I only hunt pretty girls. Pretty girls must always be hunted anyway. They do not come to me unless I am Mr. bling bling. It is just a matter of time. In terms of relationship, one only gets better than the previous. Luck or effort? It is an effortless effort if I am the one who attracts things to me, not pursuing them. I am now desperate for money and I will not make the same mistake. Like everything else in this world, money comes and goes. It is better to be respected although broke than being rich but broken. My motto to keep me alive in the course of garneting money.

There is a change in the man in the mirror.